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21 Best Books on Narcissism & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Published: November 18, 2021 Updated: December 13, 2022
Published: 11/18/2021 Updated: 12/13/2022
Headshot of Melissa Boudin, PsyD
Written by:

Melissa Boudin

PsyD
Headshot of Trishanna Sookdeo, MD, MPH, FAAFP
Reviewed by:

Trishanna Sookdeo

MD, MPH, FAAFP
  • General Books for Dealing With NarcissistsGeneral
  • Books for Recovering From a NarcissistRecovering
  • Books for Those With Narcissistic ParentsParents
  • Books for Those Dealing With a Narcissist in the WorkplaceWorkplace
  • Books for Those Dealing With Narcissism ThemselvesFor Narcissists
  • Additional ResourcesResources
Headshot of Melissa Boudin, PsyD
Written by:

Melissa Boudin

PsyD
Headshot of Trishanna Sookdeo, MD, MPH, FAAFP
Reviewed by:

Trishanna Sookdeo

MD, MPH, FAAFP

Narcissism is characterized by a lack of empathy for others, an inflated sense of self-importance, an intense need for attention or admiration, and a prevailing quest for control. Individuals exhibiting narcissism or diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder often manipulate or exploit the people around them, so much so that cutting ties or removing oneself from the relationship may be the only healthy solution.

The books on this list have advice that can help people navigate their relationship with a narcissist, whether they choose to extricate themselves or remain involved. Many of these solutions involve managing expectations, establishing boundaries, and maintaining a healthy emotional distance.

Our list of top books on narcissism are helpful for anyone who needs guidance in dealing with a narcissist, whether they’re in a romantic, business-based, or familial relationship. Though it is considered uncommon for a high-level narcissist to participate in self-help, there are also resources for anyone who is exhibiting the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder and dealing with the consequences of their actions.

For our audience’s convenience, we include links to Amazon so recommended books can be easily purchased. Choosing Therapy may earn a commission from Amazon when purchases are made using the links on this page. Read more about our high editorial standards and advertising policy.

General Books for Dealing With Narcissists

Regardless of where you are interacting with a narcissist, these books may be helpful in learning about NPD, how to deal with a narcissist, and ways to disarm them in any situation.

Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed by Wendy T. Behary, LCSW

1. Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed 

If you have a narcissist in your life—whether they’re an acquaintance, coworker, or loved-one—you know that ignoring them is not a viable option. Typically, you need to communicate or cut them off. So, if you’re determined to keep this person in your life, you need to learn new strategies.

Author Wendy Behary uses her experience as a clinician and a scholar to show readers specific ways to tap into their innate strengths—compassion, empathy, and communication—to relate and converse with someone who lacks those very same traits. You’ll learn more about how they experience the world and how to anticipate or avoid certain behaviors. Most importantly, you’ll learn how to set limits and draw the line on unacceptable behaviors.

Purchase Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry

2. Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry

While there are many types of emotional vampires covered in this book—antisocial, histrionic, narcissists, obsessive-compulsives, and paranoids—clinical psychologist Dr. Al Bernstein excels at showing readers different methods of identifying and distinguishing between them.

Berstein gives you the material you require to cope with narcissists before they drain you of your energy and well-being. Interestingly, he uses real-life examples like news pulled from the latest headlines to help readers deepen their understanding of what narcissists and other emotional vampires look like in action.

3. Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism

Clinical social worker and psychotherapist Sandy Hotchkiss expertly shows readers how to handle someone who can’t understand the give-and-take of a healthy relationship. Moving through what she calls the “seven deadly sins of narcissism,” Hotchkiss covers trademark behaviors, including exploitation, magical thinking, envy, and lack of boundaries.

Going beyond description and definition, Hotchkiss describes why, despite all of these “bad” behaviors, some people are drawn to narcissists, and gives advice for breaking these unhealthy, sometimes insidious, bonds.

4. How to Handle a Narcissist: Understanding and Dealing with a Range of Narcissistic Personalities

This determinedly objective guide describes concrete steps you can take to disengage from damaging narcissistic behavior, which doesn’t necessarily require you to cut ties with the person altogether. Author Theresa Jackson covers the span of the narcissistic scale or spectrum, covering things like narcissistic gaslighting, manipulation, and verbal abuse.

Jackson says her ultimate goal in writing How to Handle a Narcissist was to “avoid tapping into the usual stigma and negative rhetoric around narcissists, to provide the reader with greater insight and understanding, without bolstering their anger or pain.”

The New Science of Narcissism: Understanding One of the Greatest Psychological Challenges of Our Time—and What You Can Do About It, by W. Keith Campbell5. The New Science of Narcissism: Understanding One of the Greatest Psychological Challenges of Our Time—and What You Can Do About It

Narcissism is a bit of a buzzword right now, but if you want to learn more about it, including how to define it, related disorders, and dealing with the narcissists in your life, Dr. Campbell’s book is a good one for you.

Dr. Campbell explores new science behind narcissism and offers understanding in treating and dealing with narcissists, from how society shapes them to identifying narcissists in your own relationships.

Dealing with a narcissist on your own can be very hard. Having a pro on your side can make things easier. BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $60 per week. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you.

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for marketing by BetterHelp

Visit BetterHelp

Books for Those Dealing With Narcissism in a Relationship

Coping with narcissism in a relationship can be devastating. The following books may be helpful in figuring out the best tools and plans for dealing with a narcissist in this situation.

6. Narcissistic Lovers: How to Cope, Recover, and Move On

In Narcissistic Lovers, co-authors Cynthia Zayn and Kevin Dibble focus exclusively on individuals with narcissistic personality disorder who don’t wish to change or are incapable of doing so. As such, the goal of this book is to help readers leave the toxic relationship.

Zayn and Dibble write that, “if you find yourself jumping through hoops to please your partner on a daily basis, chances are something is not right.” Drawing on research and interviews with people who have been in similar relationships, they help victims recognize the severity of their situation and offer hope for healing.

7. Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist In Your Life

Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life gives support to anyone in a relationship with a narcissist as well as a plan to free yourself from their high-level narcissistic behavior. Linda Martinez-Lewi writes about regaining peace, balance, and well-being, while combining clinical analysis with the psychological profiles of famous supposed narcissists like Picasso, Frank Lloyd Wright, and Ayn Rand.

As a psychologist, Martinez-Lewi understands how draining a high level narcissist can be, and how liberating it can feel to walk away.

8. The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family

This book uses ongoing metaphorical references to The Wizard of OZ, providing readers with memorable tools they can use to identify a narcissist and heal from the effects of their specific destructive behaviors. Just like the Wizard, many narcissists are people in power, including elected officials, but sometimes they’re much closer to home.

Regardless of the nature of your relationship with a narcissist—spouse, co-worker, friend, or parent —you need to protect yourself from manipulation, exploitation, and deceit. Author Eleanor Payson writes without judgement on a difficult topic, serving up self-help without resentment.

9. The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse

Are you in a relationship with a covert narcissist? Debbie Mirza’s book explores this particularly challenging situation, providing a checklist of behaviors you should look out for if you’re feeling unsure. It also defines the difference between an overt and covert narcissist and the techniques they use to exert control over people in their sphere of influence.

There is also a chapter on healing, and how to proceed if you choose to break free from your current relationship, recognizing that you still have emotional work to do even once they’re gone.

Why Can't I Just Leave: A Guide to Waking Up and Walking Out of a Pathological Love Relationship by Kristen Milstead, Ph.D.

10. Why Can’t I Just Leave: A Guide to Waking Up and Walking Out of a Pathological Love Relationship

Do you struggle with leaving your narcissistic partner despite the abuse they’ve put you through, convince yourself you’re insane, or feel like your partner has lied so much you don’t really know who they are?

Leaving emotionally abusive relationships is difficult. The abuse can impair thought processes and convince those in these relationships that they are trapped with no way out. This guide is that wake-up call, with practical advice on how to leave the relationship.

Books for Recovering From a Narcissist

The mental, emotional, and even physical abuse a person may be subjected to when in a relationship with a narcissist is extreme. The results of this trauma is often referred to at narcissistic abuse syndrome. Recovering from the cycle of narcissistic abuse can be hard work, but the books below are a good place to start.

The Narcissism Recovery Workbook: Skills for Healing from Emotional Abuse, by Brenda Stephens MS, LPCC11. The Narcissism Recovery Workbook: Skills for Healing from Emotional Abuse

You’ve recognized the emotional abuse of a narcissist for what it was and removed yourself from the situation. Now what? How do you heal from the abuse you suffered?

If this sounds like you, consider this recovery workbook. Understand and identify what you went through and overcome feelings of shame associated with your abuse, as well as find healing through written prompts, exercises, and more.

The Narcissism Recovery Journal: Prompts and Practices for Healing from Emotional Abuse, by Cynthia Eddings, LMFT 12. The Narcissism Recovery Journal: Prompts and Practices for Healing from Emotional Abuse

This book can serve as a standalone experience or as a companion to the workbook of the same name. Work through difficult emotions, find empowering statements, and follow along to compassionate journal prompts designed to help you find healing after leaving a relationship with a narcissist.

Traumatic Narcissism and Recovery: Leaving the Prison of Shame and Fear, by Daniel Shaw13. Traumatic Narcissism and Recovery: Leaving the Prison of Shame and Fear

Author and psychoanalyst Daniel Shaw continues his dive into narcissistic relationships and how they impact and inform trauma. He outlines the specific ways narcissistic abusers affect their victims and how those victims can find healing and freedom from the oppressive shame they often feel.

This book is written for both therapists treating victims of narcissism and for survivors themselves.

Are you dating or married to a narcissist?

Whether you’re trying to move on or rebuild a relationship, a licensed therapist can guide you. BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. Visit BetterHelp

Is your mother, father, or family member a narcissist?

Being raised by a narcissist can damage your confidence and self-esteem. A therapist from Online-Therapy can help you both heal from the past, and manage the relationship to be less harmful.  Counseling starts at $50 per week. Try Online-Therapy

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for marketing by BetterHelp and Online-Therapy.

Books for Those With Narcissistic Parents

If you grew up with narcissistic parents, you may still be dealing with the baggage of what you experienced. Healing from the emotional trauma of having a narcissistic parent is not easy, but here are some books that may be a good starting point.

14. Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in their Struggle for Self

This book by Elan Golomb is more rooted in memoir than self-help, and while some readers find certain sections to be dated, its ultimate purpose—to make people feel less alone—is completed. She draws on a dark but relatable belief shared by many children of narcissistic parents—that they do not have the right to exist.

Though the personal narrative is by the far the strongest element, Golomb also blends a series of case studies in an effort to expose the mysteries of narcissistic personality disorder. Specifically, she dives into topics such as relationship “reruns,” childhood stress, and how to heal the traumatized self.

15. Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

As the title implies, this book looks at the unique relationship between daughters and their narcissistic mothers. Historically, some women have struggled to validate their needs before the needs of others, and this tendency is often made worse if they were brought up by a narcissist.

Author Karyl McBride, a licensed marriage and family therapist, assists readers in their battle to reclaim their lives. Readers may be suffering from feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, and fear that leave them unable to form healthy relationships, but McBride’s work shows them how to recognize their trauma, construct a plan to break old patterns, and take back control.

16. Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up’s Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents

Author Nina W. Brown lays out concise definitions of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder to help readers understand the extent of their parents’ issues. It delves into different types of destructive behaviors, and how to recognize the effect they had on you and your ability to form relationships as an adult.

Brown suggests the creation of realistic strategies and a step-by-step approach to resolving conflict and maintaining a relationship with narcissistic parents. It helps you moderate the damaging impact of your uniquely challenging upbringing.

17. The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment

This innovative book suggests that being raised by a narcissist is actually the emotional equivalent to be raised by an alcoholic. It presents a new therapeutic model for treating adults who suffered at the hands of emotional abusive or neglectful parents.

Authors Stephanie Donaldson and Robert Pressman outline a handful of clinical examples to illustrate the best path forward for individuals who never learned how to recognize or meet their own needs. Although it was originally written for psychologists, readers use words like “accessible” and “germaine” to describe its contents.

18. Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect

In this engaging read by psychologist Jonice Webb, readers learn more about what it means to have been raised by narcissistic parents. She writes that if your parents displayed certain kinds of tendencies, then you’re at risk of either developing the same behaviors they modeled or enabling that kind of behavior in your own relationships. Remember though, you are not alone in this struggle.

The world is full of people who have experienced and are still dealing with the effects of emotional neglect in their childhood—people who feel like something is missing. Running on Empty gives clear steps on how to heal from the trauma of your past.

Books for Those Dealing With a Narcissist in the Workplace

It is important to recognize the key characteristics of a narcissist in the workplace, and these books outline what to watch for, as well as give you a plan for with how to deal with narcissistic boss, colleague, or business associate.

19. Working with the Self-Absorbed: How to Handle Narcissistic Personalities on the Job

Due, in part, to their charisma and charm, many narcissists become business and political leaders. It’s easy to be fooled into complacency at first, but ultimately, they may try to take advantage of you and become extremely difficult to work with. If you’re stuck, you need to establish boundaries as well as a “separate-but-equal” work environment.

Working with the Self-Absorbed covers the “how,” but the “when” is entirely up to you.

20. Narcissism at Work: Personality Disorders of Corporate Leaders 

Not only does this book help readers recognize the characteristics of a narcissist in business, management, and politics, it also offers a run-down on specific coping skills. This is a resource for individual employees, human resource managers, organizational leaders, and psychologists.

Author Marie-Line Germain pays close attention to how variables like personal productivity, well-being, and motivation can factor into how toxic work relationships play out and impact the organization as a whole.

Books for Those Dealing With Narcissism Themselves

If you recognize narcissistic tendencies within yourself, this book may be a helpful tool for learning more about how to cope with narcissism in various scenarios. With dedication and support from a good therapist, narcissists can change, stop their narcissistic traits, and repair their relationships.

21. Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited

This book is written from the perspective of a self-proclaimed narcissist, Sam Vaknin. It’s an interesting, behind-the-scenes look at the so-called “making of a narcissist” that could resonate both with narcissists and the people under their influence.

Vaknin covers a variety of topics and settings where a narcissist might try to exert their manipulative power, including the Church, politics, and the community at large. Whether you know a narcissist or are one, this book aims to teach coping methods that will ultimately protect you and the people around you.

Additional Resources

Education is just the first step on our path to improved mental health and emotional wellness. To help our readers take the next step in their journey, Choosing Therapy has partnered with leaders in mental health and wellness. Choosing Therapy may be compensated for marketing by the companies mentioned below.

Online Therapy

BetterHelp – Get support and guidance from a licensed therapist. BetterHelp has over 20,000 therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy.  Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you. Get Started

Online-Therapy – Online-Therapy.com provides a weekly live video session, unlimited text messaging, and self-guided activities like journaling. Starting at $64 per week, this is one of the most affordable options for CBT therapy. Try Online-Therapy

Support Groups

Sesh – Sesh offers 100+ live, interactive webinars per month facilitated by mental health professionals. Topics included, “Managing Emotional Guilt and Shame”, “Building Healthy Relationships”, and “Pressing The Breaks On Gaslighting”. Free One Month Trial

Choosing Therapy Directory 

You can search for therapists by specialty, experience, insurance, or price, and location. Find a therapist today.

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for marketing by BetterHelp, Online-Therapy.com, and Sesh.

For Further Reading

If you or a loved one has been living through a relationship with a narcissist, the following resources may be helpful:

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
  • Narcissist Abuse Support Resources
  • Mental Health America
  • MentalHealth.gov
  • Quotes About Narcissism From Therapists
update history

We regularly update the articles on ChoosingTherapy.com to ensure we continue to reflect scientific consensus on the topics we cover, to incorporate new research into our articles, and to better answer our audience’s questions. When our content undergoes a significant revision, we summarize the changes that were made and the date on which they occurred. We also record the authors and medical reviewers who contributed to previous versions of the article. Read more about our editorial policies here.

  • Originally Published: October 1, 2020
    Original Author: Melissa Boudin
    PsyD
    Original Reviewer: Trishanna Sookdeo
    MD, MPH, FAAFP

  • Updated: November 18, 2021
    Author: No Change
    Reviewer: No Change
    Primary Changes: Added five new books. New sections reviewed by Dena Westphalen, Pharm.D. 

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Headshot of Melissa Boudin, PsyD
Written by:

Melissa Boudin

PsyD
Headshot of Trishanna Sookdeo, MD, MPH, FAAFP
Reviewed by:

Trishanna Sookdeo

MD, MPH, FAAFP
  • General Books for Dealing With NarcissistsGeneral
  • Books for Recovering From a NarcissistRecovering
  • Books for Those With Narcissistic ParentsParents
  • Books for Those Dealing With a Narcissist in the WorkplaceWorkplace
  • Books for Those Dealing With Narcissism ThemselvesFor Narcissists
  • Additional ResourcesResources
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