Feeling overwhelmed, isolated, and exhausted is common among stay-at-home moms (SAHM), but these feelings can sometimes signal something more serious. Stay-at-home-mom depression affects many women, often going unnoticed or misunderstood. Keeping your mental health in check starts with recognizing the signs and knowing how to respond – it’s a critical component of living a happy, healthy life. If SAHM depression persists, a doctor or therapist can help.1
Online Therapy & Medication for Depression
Together, medication and therapy can help you feel like yourself, faster. Brightside Health accepts United Healthcare, Anthem, Cigna, Aetna, and other major insurance. Appointments in as little as 24 hours. Personalized plans unique to you. 1 on 1 support from start to finish. Start your free assessment.
What Is Stay-at-Home-Mom Depression?
Depression is a mood disorder that affects the way a person thinks, feels, and acts. Not everyone experiences depression in the same way, but left untreated, depression can negatively impact quality of life and overall wellness.2 Stay-at-home-moms often experience depression due to ongoing parenting and household duties, isolation, and lack of support.
Stay-at-home moms also tend to carry the family’s mental load. They can feel unseen and misunderstood because of the perception that they don’t work or just get to play with the kids all day. Realistically, staying at home can be emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausting. It’s a full-time job without financial benefits.
Stay-at-Home-Mom Depression Symptoms
Symptoms of SAHM depression include loss of energy and motivation, changes to sleep or appetite, negative or intrusive thoughts, and a sense of loss or missing meaning and purpose. This is more than just feeling “blue” one day; it is persistent and lasts at least two weeks.2
Stay-at-home-mom depression symptoms include:
- Change in appetite: depression can cause a loss of appetite or an increase in emotional eating, particularly of sweet or salty snacks.
- Difficulty sleeping or needing more sleep: one of the most common symptoms is a change in sleep. This can be hard for moms to notice because they are up all night with the baby or children who can’t sleep. This refers to the times when mom has the opportunity to sleep, but can’t due to worry, sadness, or feelings of being overwhelmed.
- Loss of energy and motivation: everything feels hard; mom might feel like she is dragging.
- Feeling overwhelmed: mom may feel unable to cope, not sure how to deal with feeling overwhelmed.
- Mom guilt: this can create a vicious cycle in moms; mom guilt says they are being selfish by putting their needs first; then this lack of self-care exacerbates depression.
- Burnout: mom burnout or parental burnout occurs when stress is chronic. Eventually, the nervous system shuts down and moms feel detached, distracted, numb, cynical, or even apathetic.
- Regretting having kids: it can be common, even normal to question or even regret having kids; however, if this persists, it can be a sign of depression.
- Mom rage: sometimes, mom’s feelings get so bottled up that they come out as yelling and mom rage, anger, or irritability.
- Thoughts of death, or of harming oneself or the children: these thoughts can be a sign of a serious issue, like crippling depression, psychosis, or other mental illness. Please talk to a medical or mental health professional immediately if you are having these thoughts.
Why Do Stay-at-Home Moms Feel Depressed?
Adjusting to the demands of caring for infants/children, social isolation, reduction in physical activity, and worries about children’s safety and health all contribute to stay-at-home-mom depression. Many moms go through a grieving period for their pre-motherhood identity.
There is still a stigma around stay-at-home moms, and a misconception that they don’t work or “just get to stay home all day.” In reality, stay-at-home moms are almost always working, and you can’t call off sick from being a mom.
13 Tips to Deal With Stay-at-Home-Mom Depression
SAHM depression can be devastating and difficult to deal with; however, it’s important to remember that it won’t feel this way forever. Ways to cope and feel better include practicing self-care, changing pace, moving your body, and getting fresh air.
Here are thirteen tips for how to get over stay-at-home-mom depression:
1. Parent Mindfully
Mindful parenting is being fully present without judgment. This can include noticing and being present with emotions, body sensations, senses, breath, or the environment. It can also include noticing what emotions feel like in the body and teaching kids to do the same. Instead of labeling an emotion, behavior, or situation as “bad,” notice it and say something like, “I notice my shoulders are tight.”
2. Get Out of the House & Into Nature
The benefits of nature on mental health are huge. Getting out of the house and into nature, breathing fresh air, and taking in the sights, sounds, and smells can reduce stress, improve mood, generate calm, and create a sense of balance.
3. Get Some Natural Light
In addition to the benefits of being outdoors in nature, sunlight is shown to have a positive impact on energy levels and mood. Get outside for sunlight and fresh air for a mood boost. Some people find light therapy to be helpful during dark, gloomy days.4
4. Spend Time With Adult Friends Instead of Kids
Stay-at-home moms often go all day without adult interaction. Spending time with adult friends can help them feel like they still have their own identity outside of “Mom.” Start by joining a moms’ group on social media. You could also arrange for childcare and set up a date with a friend (e.g., another mom who understands or a friend from before you were a mom).
5. Take a Break!
Most jobs come with time-off, but stay-at-home moms are never off. What other job would expect people to work 24/7, 365 days of the year, and sometimes through the night without a break? It’s not sustainable, and it takes a huge toll on moms’ mental health. Find ways to build breaks and into the schedule. Explore options for a longer getaway like an overnight or weekend with friends.
6. Build Self-Care Into Your Life
Cope with SAHM depression by building self-care micro-strategies into the day. Fill up a water bottle in the morning and drink throughout the day. Fit in moments of regular movement, like stretching or taking short walks. Do a 2-minute meditation with the kids, during their naps, or before they wake up. Say “No” to things that drain your energy and “Yes” to things that energize you.
7. Have Healthy Snacks Prepared & Easily Available
Healthy food can stabilize blood sugar. Going without eating or binging on sweets can result in an energy drop, negatively impacting mood.5 Further research shows a link between depression and increased intake of sweets and fast food.6 Try prepping healthy snacks ahead of time. This will also make life easier when the kids inevitably yell, “Mom! I’m hungry!”
8. Put On Music & Have a Dance Party
How fun is a random dance party in the living room? Even if this sounds hard, give it a try. Music is shown to increase dopamine, elevate mood, and even reduce symptoms of depression, schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder. Add the benefits of physical exercise and this is a winning combination. Plus, it’s a fun thing to do with the kids!7
9. Get Exercise
Exercise can feel like the hardest thing in the world to find time and energy for when you are a stay-at-home mom. However, the mental health benefits of exercise are immense and undeniable.8 Just 20 minutes of exercise is shown to have a significant positive impact on mood, regardless of the intensity.9
10. Let Go of Mom Guilt
Mom guilt is the common feeling that no matter what you do, it’s never enough. Moms feel guilty about what they do, what they don’t do, and what they should be doing. The truth is, mom guilt lies. There is no one right way to be a mother. Talk it through with a trusted friend or work with a therapist to let go of unrealistic expectations.
11. Build Routines Into Your Day
The hours can sometimes feel like they drag on forever when parenting. Similarly, if you have depression, it can feel hard to move through the day. This is where routines are helpful. Children also thrive with having a sense of predictability and structure. Knowing which task is coming up next can give you a sense of purpose and keep you moving.
12. Consider If Outsourcing May Help
As a stay-at-home mom, you truly may feel like you’re “doing it all.” This can be exhausting! If your budget allows for it, consider certain tasks that you might outsource, including laundry, grocery shopping, or general house cleaning. Having more free time (or leisure time to spend with your children) may help you better cope with depression.
13. Reassess Whether You Should Go Back to Work
Some mothers need to reconcile that the stay-at-home arrangement just isn’t working best for them. This doesn’t make you a failure. Some mothers genuinely feel better when they have some time away from their children and can focus on their professional pursuits. If you feel this may apply to you, it’s worth reevaluating your current setup. Even working just a few hours a week may make a difference in how you feel.
Personalized Treatment for Depression
Talkiatry can match you with an actual psychiatrist. Talkiatry psychiatrists can evaluate you for depression and other issues that may be impacting your mood then implement a personalized treatment plan. Insurance accepted. Get started with a short online assessment.
Depression Treatment Options
SAHM depression can be managed with treatment that addresses the mother’s particular needs and struggles. An appropriate treatment plan is generally most effective when it is formulated with the assistance of your physician or a psychological expert. You may want to consider reaching out to a professional that specializes in maternal mental health to receive more individualized care.
Therapy
Individual therapy for depression is the first line treatment option. Whether in-person or with an online counselor, psychotherapy offers a non-judgmental and confidential space which sets the tone to process intimate emotions and challenges that you otherwise wouldn’t share with others. This can also go hand in hand with antidepressants depending on the severity of your symptoms.
Support Groups
You can also consider addressing your SAHM depression by seeking assistance in the form of support groups, either to supplement your existing treatment or by itself in less severe cases. These can be beneficial for the stay-at-home mom to gain a sense of validation, boost their morale, learn coping skills, and build connections to feel less alone. If getting child care is an issue, look for online support groups or groups that provide child care.
How to Find a Therapist
You can search for different specialties in various geographical areas by using a free online therapist directory. You can also find online therapy for depression that may be more convenient if you find it hard to find a babysitter to get to appointments. Trusted friends, family members, or physicians can also offer recommendations for good therapists.
How to Help a Stay-at-Home Mom Dealing With Depression
It’s important for loved ones to understand the symptoms of maternal depression. Remember that it’s not your job to inherently fix or change how she feels. However, you can still play an influential role in demonstrating your support. Active listening and compassion can go a long way in helping her.
Some ways to support a stay-at-home mom with depression include:
- Expressing and showing appreciation for what a SAHM does
- Asking what would be practically or logistically supportive for her
- Asking her how she’s doing without solely focusing on the child
- Spending time with her doing what she enjoys
- Listening to her concerns or feelings without jumping to solutions
- Checking in on her regularly (even if you suspect the depression has passed or improved)
Online Therapy & Medication for Depression
Together, medication and therapy can help you feel like yourself, faster. Brightside Health accepts United Healthcare, Anthem, Cigna, Aetna, and other major insurance. Appointments in as little as 24 hours. Personalized plans unique to you. 1 on 1 support from start to finish. Start your free assessment.
In My Experience
“Stay-at-home-mom depression is common, but the good news is that it can get better. Be patient with yourself, give yourself grace, and remind yourself that things will get better. It can be overwhelming to go through big changes, and caring for infants/children while handling household tasks is exhausting, but there is always hope.”
Frequently Asked Questions
What Is Stay-at-Home Mom Syndrome?
Although it’s not an official syndrome, some women use the phrase ‘stay-at-home mom syndrome’ to refer to the rigor or burnout that can occur for mothers in this dynamic. This is an umbrella term that encapsulates the exhaustion, perpetual guilt, identify confusion, depression, or boredom that may coincide with some or many parts of parenting.
Why Am I Struggling as a Stay-at-Home-Mom?
Parenting is demanding, and even if you want to stay at home with your children, it may still feel difficult. Many mothers feel like they lack adequate support or time for themselves. You might feel like you’re ‘drowning’ to get everything done. You might also grieve parts of your former life. Finally, children with high needs can make parenting feel even more complex.
It’s important to remember that most mothers struggle with some parts of parenting. Unfortunately, society may stigmatize these challenges. Many women feel pressure to “have it all” and “do it all,” so they feel guilty when their experiences do not match this ideal. You may feel insecure that you’re doing something wrong. In addition, you may feel upset for not being valued enough.
How Does Mom Guilt Contribute to SAHM Depression?
Mom guilt can make moms with this type of depression feel hopeless. It tells them that taking care of themselves is selfish, which couldn’t be further from the truth. Moms who take great care of themselves are actually more available to be present and joyful caretakers for their children. If a mom is not taking care of herself, it will be more difficult to raise healthy, happy and adaptable children.
Why Is There Stigma Around SAHM Depression?
The stigma associated with SAHM depression typically stems from misconceptions and assumptions that society generally upholds. Many people dismiss the hard work that it takes to stay at home and raise children. For example, some believe that mothers who stay at home have it “easier” or have more time to themselves, are “lucky” because they don’t have to go to work, and should be grateful for their situation.
For these reasons, some stay-at-home moms not only feel pressured to be “perfect” but also like they shouldn’t complain or talk about their frustrations and the challenges they face, such as feelings of loneliness, loss of identity, stay-at-home-mom burnout, etc. This lack of expression can further feed into the SAHM stigma.
How Does the Mental Health of Stay-at-Home Moms Compare to Working Moms?
Here are some findings from a 2012 Gallup poll regarding the mental wellness of stay-at-home moms:10
- 50% of stay-at-home moms feel stressed compared to 48% of working moms
- 26% experience sadness compared to 16% of working moms
- 41% routinely worry compared to 34% of working moms
In more recent studies related to COVID-19, it was revealed that shifts in work and parenting responsibilities impacted employed women more than men. Consequently, the pandemic created a lot of stay-at-home moms, which resulted in a significant impact on their wellbeing.11
Stay-at-Home Mom Depression Infographics
ChoosingTherapy.com strives to provide our readers with mental health content that is accurate and actionable. We have high standards for what can be cited within our articles. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism. Learn more by reviewing our full editorial policy.
-
Zimmerman, T. S. (2000). Marital equality and satisfaction in stay-at-home mother and stay-at-home father families. Contemporary Family Therapy, 22(3), 337-354. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2000-02495-006
-
American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425596
-
Davenport, M. H., Meyer, S., Meah, V. L., Strynadka, M. C., & Khurana, R. (2020). Moms are not OK: COVID-19 and maternal mental health. Frontiers in global women’s health, 1. https://dsm.psychiatryonline.org/doi/book/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425787
-
Beute, F., & de Kort, Y. A. (2018). The natural context of wellbeing: Ecological momentary assessment of the influence of nature and daylight on affect and stress for individuals with depression levels varying from none to clinical. Health & place, 49, 7-18. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29156416/
-
Ottley, C. (2000). Food and mood. Mental Health Practice, 4(4). https://www.deepdyve.com/lp/royal-college-of-nursing-rcn/food-and-mood-5siILgUDwT
-
Paans, N. P., Gibson-Smith, D., Bot, M., van Strien, T., Brouwer, I. A., Visser, M., & Penninx, B. W. (2019). Depression and eating styles are independently associated with dietary intake. Appetite, 134, 103-110. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30583007/
-
Castillo-Pérez, S., Gómez-Pérez, V., Velasco, M. C., Pérez-Campos, E., & Mayoral, M. A. (2010). Effects of music therapy on depression compared with psychotherapy. The Arts in psychotherapy, 37(5), 387-390. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7673528/
-
Rimer, J., Dwan, K., Lawlor, D. A., Greig, C. A., McMurdo, M., Morley, W., & Mead, G. E. (2012). Exercise for depression. Cochrane database of systematic reviews, (7). https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22786489/
-
Meyer, J. D., Koltyn, K. F., Stegner, A. J., Kim, J. S., & Cook, D. B. (2016). Influence of exercise intensity for improving depressed mood in depression: a dose-response study. Behavior therapy, 47(4), 527-537. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27423168/
-
Mendes, E. (2012, May 18). Gallup.com; Gallup. https://news.gallup.com/poll/154685/stay-home-moms-report-depression-sadness-anger.aspx
-
Croda, E., & Grossbard, S. (2021). Women pay the price of COVID-19 more than men. Review of Economics of the Household, 19(1), 1–9. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11150-021-09549-8
We regularly update the articles on ChoosingTherapy.com to ensure we continue to reflect scientific consensus on the topics we cover, to incorporate new research into our articles, and to better answer our audience’s questions. When our content undergoes a significant revision, we summarize the changes that were made and the date on which they occurred. We also record the authors and medical reviewers who contributed to previous versions of the article. Read more about our editorial policies here.
Author: (No Change)
Medical Reviewer: (No Change)
Primary Changes: Added new sections titled “How to Help a Stay-at-Home Mom Dealing With Depression”,”What Is Stay-at-Home Mom Syndrome?”, “Why Am I Struggling as a Stay-at-Home Mom?” New content written by Nicole Arzt, LMFT. Fact checked and edited for improved readability and clarity. Added Stay-at-Home Mom Depression Worksheets.
Author: No Change
Reviewer: No Change
Primary Changes: Updated for readability and clarity. Reviewed and added relevant resources. Added “What Is Depression?”, “The Stigma of SAHM Depression”, “Stay-at-Home-Mom Depression Treatment Options”, and “SAHM Depression Statistics”. New material written by Lydia Antonatos, LMHC, and reviewed by Kristen Fuller, MD.
Author: Michelle Risser, LISW-S
Reviewer: Kristen Fuller, MD
Your Voice Matters
Can't find what you're looking for?
Request an article! Tell ChoosingTherapy.com’s editorial team what questions you have about mental health, emotional wellness, relationships, and parenting. Our licensed therapists are just waiting to cover new topics you care about!
Leave your feedback for our editors.
Share your feedback on this article with our editors. If there’s something we missed or something we could improve on, we’d love to hear it.
Our writers and editors love compliments, too. :)
Additional Resources
To help our readers take the next step in their mental health journey, ChoosingTherapy.com has partnered with leaders in mental health and wellness. ChoosingTherapy.com is compensated for marketing by the companies included below.
Personalized Treatment for Depression
Talkiatry – can match you with an actual psychiatrist. Talkiatry psychiatrists can evaluate you for depression and other issues that may be impacting your mood then implement a personalized treatment plan. Insurance accepted. Get started with a short online assessment.
Therapy for Depression & Medication Management
Brightside Health – If you’re struggling with depression, finding the right medication can make a difference. Brightside Health treatment plans start at $95 per month. Following a free online evaluation and receiving a prescription, you can get FDA approved medications delivered to your door. Free Assessment
Ketamine Therapy for Depression
Mindbloom – Ketamine is a prescription medication that clinicians can prescribe off-label to treat depression. Mindbloom pairs ketamine with clinician support and an immersive in-app experience to help you achieve your mental health breakthrough. Find out if you’re a good candidate for Mindbloom. Learn More
Depression Newsletter
A free newsletter from the experts at ChoosingTherapy.com for those impacted by depression. Get helpful tips and the latest information. Sign Up
ChoosingTherapy.com Directory
Find local therapists that offer online and in-person therapy. Search for therapists by specialty, experience, insurance, and location. Find a therapist near you.
Online Depression Test
A few questions from Talkiatry can help you understand your symptoms and give you a recommendation for what to do next.
Best Online Therapy for Depression
Depression is a very common mental health concern. To find the best online therapy for depression, we spent hundreds of hours personally using and researching over 50 platforms. Our resulting list offers options with easy access to appointments, affordable pricing, coverage for major insurance plans, and some of the best therapist availability in the industry. Read on to see our top picks for the best online therapy for depression.
Best Online Psychiatry Services
Online psychiatry, sometimes called telepsychiatry, platforms offer medication management by phone, video, or secure messaging for a variety of mental health conditions. In some cases, online psychiatry may be more affordable than seeing an in-person provider. Mental health treatment has expanded to include many online psychiatry and therapy services. With so many choices, it can feel overwhelming to find the one that is right for you.
