Repressed memories, also known as dissociative amnesia, are a common occurrence in those who have experienced childhood trauma.1,2,3,4 While some are unable to recall a small period of time, others are missing entire years of their life. Along with memory loss, other signs of repressed trauma can include low self-esteem, substance abuse disorders, increased physical or mental illnesses, and interpersonal problems.2,5,6
What Causes Repressed Memories?
Traumatic experiences (especially in childhood) are the most common cause of repressed memories, and can also lead to other kinds of dissociative episodes.1,6,7,8
Survivors of childhood trauma often repress memories as a defense mechanism, but failing to confront these can lead to negative repercussions.
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) identify the types of trauma incidents proven to impact a person’s life; these types are used to calculate a person’s ACE score (1 point per trauma experienced before age 18). Research has found that those with high ACE scores are at an increased risk for developing a variety of social, psychological, and health-related conditions in adulthood, including complex posttraumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD).5,6
The 10 ACEs that can result in repressed childhood memories are:5
- Physical abuse
- Sexual trauma
- Emotional abuse
- Physical neglect
- Emotional neglect
- Family history of mental illnesses
- Divorce or separation from a parent
- Family history ofaddiction or substance use
- Violence against one’s mother or caregiver
- Having a family member incarcerated
Why do people repress traumatic memories?
Most experts view dissociative amnesia as a defense mechanism one may use to block out painful past memories.1,2,4,6 Most of the time, repressing a trauma memory is an involuntary response, and not a conscious decision someone makes.2,3,4 Because children usually don’t have the ability to prevent traumatic events like sexual, physical, or emotional abuse, dissociating can be their way of coping with such.3,4,6,7
14 Signs of Repressed Childhood Trauma in Adults
Even when repressed, childhood trauma can often manifest in problematic ways later in life. In fact, some researchers believe that this defense mechanism can take a toll on both a person’s mental and physical health.2,6 This may help explain why one’s repressed memories can often reemerge as different illnesses, relationship or trust issues, and unhealthy lifestyle choices.2,5,7
Here are 14 common signs of repressed childhood trauma to watch for in adulthood:
1. Missing Time or Lost Memories
Most children over the age of three start to develop memories that they can later recall in adulthood. However, trauma survivors may not be able to access these memories.3,4 Some survivors have unconsciously blocked out weeks, months, or even years of their childhoods. This is often the result of a child ‘dissociating’ from a traumatic experience.1,3,4,6,8
Dissociation involves detaching from your thoughts, feelings, or even your body and is a frequent occurrence in trauma survivors.6,8 People who dissociate may struggle more than others to remember specific details of a traumatic event.1,8
Furthermore, dissociative amnesia is known to affect over half of those who have experienced sexual abuse and incest.2,6,8
2. Feeling ‘Flooded’ when Reminded of the Trauma
Repressed memories can often be recovered when a person encounters something that reminds them of a traumatic event, such as familiar sights, sounds, or scents.2,3
When this happens, it’s typical for a person to feel ‘flooded’ by the memory and the difficult feelings associated with it.6,8
Being flooded by a traumatic memory can cause someone to experience:1,6,8
- Feelings of ‘reliving’ the traumatic experience
- High levels of anxiety or panic attacks
- Strong urge to escape from or avoid the trigger
- Flashbacks or uncontrollable memories that replay in the mind
- Strong negative emotions like disgust, anger,shame,or grief
3. Black & White Thinking
Black and white thinking (aka BPD splitting) is another byproduct of unresolved childhood trauma. This kind of cognitive distortion reflects the mind’s way of labeling things or people as either good or bad. Black and white thinking is also a defense mechanism people may use to make quick decisions during times of stress.6,7
Black and white thinking can cause many problems for a person including:2,6,9
- Extreme mood swings
- Overreactions
- Impulsivity
- Erratic relationships
- Difficulty emotional regulation
4. Trust Issues
Many people who have experienced childhood trauma develop trust issues that continually affect their relationships in adulthood. Those who were betrayed, abandoned, abused, or neglected as children often expect others to repeat these patterns.7,9 This mindset can lead one to avoid pursuing new relationships or push away loved ones, becoming hyper-independent. Trust issues often negatively influence a person’s closest connections, including romantic partners, family, and friends.2,6,9
5. False Memories
According to research, trauma survivors frequently ‘misremember’ events from childhood.2,3,4 False memories are not stories a person makes up to get attention; rather, they’re things one vividly remembers happening to them, despite never actually occurring. Some experts believe that false memories are the mind’s way of trying to ‘fill in the gaps’ left by episodes of dissociative amnesia. They can also be the result of hypnosis or other forms of ‘suggestive’ therapy.2,3,4
6. Mental & Physical Health Conditions
Those who have experienced childhood trauma are 2-5 times more likely to suffer from a mental or physical illness.3,5 Childhood trauma can also lower a person’s immunity, increasing the risk of infections and illnesses.5,6 Additionally, survivors are more susceptible to chronic health conditions like diabetes, heart disease, and autoimmune disorders.
7. Substance Use & Addictions
People with high ACE scores are more likely to engage in unhealthy habits such as smoking and substance abuse.5,7,9 Those with repressed memories may rely on these practices to avoid thinking about or facing past traumas. Even behavioral addictions to food or sex may be used as a method of coping.
8. Insecure Attachment Style
Many childhood trauma survivors struggle to form lasting, healthy, and stable relationships. Often, these issues can be due to insecure attachment styles that form in response to neglectful, abusive, absent, or inconsistent caregivers. This can manifest as intense fears of abandonment and trust issues. One may also be excessively controlling, exhibit a pattern of shutting down, or push people away.2,6,7,9 Over time, these behaviors will adversely impact one’s relationships.
9. Low Self-Esteem
Many trauma survivors blame themselves for what happened to them as children, despite having no fault. While self-blame may offer someone the illusion of having control over future traumatic experiences, it often leads to low self-esteem.2,6,9
Low self-worth or self-esteem can manifest in many ways including:
- Feelings of shame and inadequacy
- Excessive need for external validation
- Poor boundaries or inability to stand up for oneself
- Making poor decisions or life choices
- Perfectionism or inability to accept flaws and mistakes
- Persistent self-criticism or negative self-talk
10. Mood Swings & Chronic Stress
Unresolved trauma can lead to a build-up of toxic stress that continues to impact a person into adulthood. Many survivors will experience strong emotions, mood swings, and overwhelming stress. Experts believe that this is largely because trauma can rewire the developing brain, affecting regions associated with stress, fear, and emotion regulation. Over time, this can make people more susceptible to fear and other difficult emotions.2,6,7
11. Inability to Focus
Repressing memories usually isn’t deliberate, but it still requires mental ‘bandwidth’. When someone’s mind is working to repress trauma, one may experience an inability to focus.3 This can lead them to become easily distracted, forgetful, and disorganized. While many attribute these symptoms to ADD or ADHD, they can also be linked to post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).1
12. Revictimization
Trauma survivors will often engage in revictimization, or the act of repeating actions and behaviors associated with one’s experiences. This tendency is largely unconscious in nature, but can result as a consequence of unresolved trauma.6,9 In short, what a person fails to address will often negatively impact their choices in the future.
Some of the ways that trauma survivors may revictimize themselves include:2,7,9
- Choosing abusive, neglectful, or dysfunctional partners and friends
- Self-destructive behaviors that keep one from reaching their goals
- Neglecting physical or emotional needs
- Unhealthy sexual behaviors that mimic past traumas related to sexual violence
- Harming or abusing others
- Allowing others to abuse them
13. Dissociative Episodes
People who have repressed traumatic memories from childhood may also suffer from dissociative episodes. In these moments, one may lose touch with themselves or reality and are more likely to occur when a person is overwhelmed, upset, or triggered. However, episodes can affect a survivor at any time. Many who dissociate as adults begin this behavior early on in childhood as a way of coping with situations they couldn’t avoid or escape.1,3,6,8
Here are some of the signs of a dissociative episode:1,8
- Feeling emotionally detached or numb to feelings
- Having an out-of-body experience (i.e. seeing yourself from above)
- Losing sense of what’s real
- Unintentionally blanking or zoning out
- Being in a dream-like state
- Trouble remembering actions, people, or places
14. Avoidant Behavior
Trauma survivors often exhibit avoidant behaviors by evading certain people, places, situations or things that trigger traumatic memories. For example, some survivors may refuse to communicate with family members or visit their hometown. They may also avoid discussing certain topics, especially ones related to their childhood.
When to Seek Professional Help
The passing of time doesn’t always heal unresolved childhood trauma, but therapy and treatment can. While there isn’t a proven method of retrieving repressed memories, there are ways to help people process the ones they do remember.2,3,4 Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and Accelerated Resolution Therapy are all evidence-based treatments for addressing one’s trauma.6
When combating childhood trauma, it’s important to choose a therapist who specializes in trauma-informed therapy. A therapist directory can help you search for professionals based on location, insurance accepted, and type of therapies offered.
Anyone who experienced childhood trauma can benefit from therapy, but it may be especially important for those experiencing one of more of the following:
- Flashbacks, nightmares, or repeated trauma-related thoughts or memories
- An inability to function, focus, or complete basic tasks
- Intense panic attacks, irritability, mood swings, or depressive episodes
- Thoughts or urges to act in reckless or self-destructive ways
- Frequent or serious dissociative episodes that you can’t control
- Other negative PTSD symptoms
Final Thoughts
Even when traumatic memories are repressed, there are many ways that unresolved trauma can impact a person’s everyday life.2,3,5,6,7,9 Knowing the common signs and symptoms of early childhood trauma in adults can help survivors identify their unresolved issues. In this way, they can get the help they need in order to heal and move on.
For Further Reading
- PTSD Psychological Treatments – Society of Clinical Psychology Div 12
- CPTSD Resources – The Foundation for Post-Traumatic Healing and Complex Trauma Research
- 10 Best PTSD & Trauma Books for 2021 – Choosing Therapy
- National Child Traumatic Stress Network
Repressed Childhood Trauma Infographics
