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  • What Is a Male Narcissist?What Is a Male Narcissist?
  • Differences Between Female & Male NarcissistsDifferences Between Female & Male Narcissists
  • Common Male Narcissistic TraitsCommon Male Narcissistic Traits
  • How to Deal With a Narcissistic ManHow to Deal With a Narcissistic Man
  • When to Seek Professional HelpWhen to Seek Professional Help
  • In My ExperienceIn My Experience
  • InfographicsInfographics
  • Additional ResourcesAdditional Resources
Narcissism Articles Narcissism Therapy for NPD Types of Narcissism Best Online Therapy

Male Narcissist: 10 Traits & How to Deal With One

Headshot of Maggie Holland, MA, MHP, LMHC

Author: Maggie Holland, MA, MHP, LMHC

Headshot of Maggie Holland, MA, MHP, LMHC

Maggie Holland MA, MHP, LMHC

Maggie predominantly serves women struggling with anxiety disorders, panic disorders, and perinatal mental health concerns.

See My Bio Editorial Policy
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Medical Reviewer: Heidi Moawad, MD Licensed medical reviewer

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Heidi Moawad MD

Heidi Moawad, MD is a neurologist with 20+ years of experience focusing on
mental health disorders, behavioral health issues, neurological disease, migraines, pain, stroke, cognitive impairment, multiple sclerosis, and more.

See My Bio Editorial Policy
Published: November 26, 2024
  • What Is a Male Narcissist?What Is a Male Narcissist?
  • Differences Between Female & Male NarcissistsDifferences Between Female & Male Narcissists
  • Common Male Narcissistic TraitsCommon Male Narcissistic Traits
  • How to Deal With a Narcissistic ManHow to Deal With a Narcissistic Man
  • When to Seek Professional HelpWhen to Seek Professional Help
  • In My ExperienceIn My Experience
  • InfographicsInfographics
  • Additional ResourcesAdditional Resources

Male narcissists often display a mix of charisma and manipulation, initially appearing charming before showing traits like an overinflated ego, a constant need for attention, and a lack of empathy. Navigating a relationship with a male narcissist can be challenging, but understanding his behavior and learning strategies to cope can help you protect your well-being.

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What Is a Male Narcissist?

A male narcissist is a male with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). NPD is characterized by an over-inflated sense of self-importance, pervasive need for attention, and lack of empathy. While anybody can display narcissistic tendencies in certain situations, someone with diagnosable NPD will show these symptoms consistently, regardless of the circumstance. The best way to know if you’re dealing with a narcissist is to look at their pattern of behavior over time to check for consistency.

To get an NPD diagnosis, individuals must meet several of the following criteria:1

  • Exaggerated sense of self-importance and expects others to recognize and acknowledge their greatness
  • Lack of empathy
  • Obsessive need for admiration
  • Manipulate others for personal gain
  • Fantasizes about power, success, brilliance
  • Arrogant and entitled
  • Jealous or envious of others

Differences Between Female & Male Narcissists

Ultimately, people with narcissistic traits exhibit similar behaviors. However, male narcissists may be more likely to exhibit grandiose tendencies. They might frequently brag about their accomplishments or belittle others publicly. Women may be more covert in their presentation. They may act like victims, outwardly present as having low self-esteem, and engage in passive aggression to meet their needs.

10 Common Male Narcissistic Traits

If you suspect that a man in your life may have narcissistic personality traits, it’s essential to examine his behavior across different situations and relationships. Whether you’re married to a narcissist, considering traits in a friend, or dealing with a narcissistic parent, the way these traits show up can vary significantly. For example, certain behaviors might seem minor in a colleague but feel overwhelming in a romantic partner. Keeping context in mind can help you see the full picture of narcissistic behavior over time.

Below are 10 common traits of a narcissistic man:

1. Perfectionism

Oftentimes, a male narcissist might display perfectionism in the expectations he has for other people. Because narcissists believe they are naturally elite, they may also think that they deserve nothing less than perfection from others. However, narcissists likely will not hold themselves accountable to these same standards.

2. Control Issues

Because a male narcissist is always trying to protect his fragile and low self-esteem, he may try to control every variable to prevent disappointment, discomfort, and failure. For instance, these control issues may show up as a partner dictating how you talk and act around others. This ensures that his presentation of superiority remains unharmed.

3. Commitment Issues

Male narcissists seek a constant flow of external reassurance, often referred to as their narcissistic supply – they will do whatever it takes to ensure this is maintained. A narcissist may avoid entering a committed relationship or publicly sharing that they are in one because of the possibility of this diminishing the amount of attention they receive from others.

4. Pathological Lying

Narcissists can frequently lie about, exaggerate, or embellish things to fulfill their narcissistic supply. This may occur as a means of maintaining the attention they desire, while also making themselves sound as important and impressive as they want others to believe they are. Because of this, a male narcissist initially comes across as interesting and incredibly charming, despite possessing a fragile ego and low self-esteem.

5. Manipulative

Narcissistic men will often use manipulation in order to get what they want, and generally do not recognize this behavior as wrong. Different narcissistic manipulation tactics can include gaslighting, “moving the goalposts,” and giving you the silent treatment. Regardless, being manipulated by a narcissistic man can leave you feeling confused, anxious, and insecure.

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6. Love Bombing

In order to draw you into a relationship, male narcissists will often love bomb the people in their life. Love bombing occurs when someone bombards a person with intense emotions, affection, gifts, and an abundance of their time and energy.6 This sets an ideal standard for the victim to always pursue in the relationship, even after the narcissist has withdrawn his affection. Love bombing preys on a person’s innate desire to be loved and pursued, and turns it into a tool to increase their devotion to the love bombing partner.

7. Grandiosity

A core component of narcissism is grandiosity, which means that a male narcissist may often share grandiose delusions that he holds and believes about himself. These are usually exaggerated, or sometimes downright false, ideas about one’s own importance, abilities, power, or identity.7 This could be anything from believing they will win a prestigious award, or that people believe them to be more powerful or influential than they actually are.

“Because grandiosity is relatively easy to observe (e.g., bragging about oneself often at the expense of others; portray oneself as someone who others admire/respect/fear), those overt displays may be indications of narcissism. In particular, narcissism is not self-confidence or high self-esteem. It’s a self-presentation of being preoccupied with how others view them, particularly how they view them relative to others. So, an emphasis on being better than others is potentially an indication of narcissism.’”

Dr Chris Barry headshotDr. Chris Barry

8. Attention Seeking

Because narcissists need admiration to fill their narcissistic supply, they will spend a lot of time seeking and maintaining the spotlight. Attention-seeking behavior can include volunteering for jobs where they’ll play an important role, such as being an event MC or the main presenter at a work presentation. They may also do so in more intimate settings, such as talking over other people, interrupting, or “one-upping” others in conversation.

9. Dismissive

If a narcissist believes that someone else is getting more attention than them or that others are perceiving them to be more impressive than they are, they will often do whatever they can to undermine that person’s attributes and accomplishments. By doing this, they turn the attention back on themselves, while also reminding others that they are the most impressive person in the room.

10. Abusive

It is also important to acknowledge that narcissists can be outright abusive to people in their lives. Narcissistic abuse can take many forms, including physical, verbal, emotional, sexual, psychological, financial, exploitation, and even technological abuse. The severity of abuse can vary, and typically will worsen over time.

How to Deal With a Narcissistic Man

When attempting to deal with a narcissistic man, it is important to remember that you can only control your own behavior. Attempting to change a narcissist will leave you feeling frustrated and upset. Focus on making choices that work best for you and taking care of yourself. You can always work to improve your own healthy coping mechanisms, understand your needs and limitations, and decide what you’re willing to tolerate.

Here are some ways to deal with a narcissistic male:

  • Remember that you’re not at fault: Narcissists blame everyone else for their wrongdoings, and hearing constant ridicule can impact your self-esteem. Remind yourself often that this is a part of their mental illness, and it has nothing to do with you.
  • Set healthy boundaries: This is crucial with narcissists, because they do not empathize with others and recognize limits of appropriate behavior. Clearly setting your own boundaries is the most important way you can take care of yourself when dealing with a narcissist.
  • Regulate yourself: A narcissist is looking for the reactions and engagement of others in order to fill their need for attention. This can mean that they say false, infuriating, and hurtful things in order to get a rise from you. By keeping yourself calm, it’s likely they will move onto a different target.
  • Avoid direct confrontation: Male narcissists are hyper-sensitive to criticism and will often get defensive or lash out. If you have feedback to give, doing so in a gentle and nonjudgmental way may help to prevent things from escalating.
  • Act interested: Sometimes we have relationships that we cannot avoid. One survival technique you can use in these situations is to act interested in what they’re saying. You don’t have to agree or tell them they’re right–saying, “That’s interesting,” or asking further questions usually works.
  • Prioritize your own needs: Being around a narcissist can be draining and challenging. Make sure you’re attending to your own well-being, practicing self-care, and seeking therapy if you need it.
  • Know when to leave: Unfortunately, sometimes cutting off a relationship is the only way you can protect yourself and your mental health. If you have experienced a drop in self-esteem, have been the target of narcissistic abuse, or feel unsafe in any way, it may be time to consider leaving your toxic relationship

Free Worksheets for Coping With a Narcissist

This collection of worksheets is designed to help you identify and navigate narcissistic behavior, recognize gaslighting tactics, set healthy boundaries, and reinforce your personal strengths to protect your emotional well-being. Find the one you need, or download the entire worksheet collection here.

Narcissist workbook cover page
Complete Workbook Download
Identify Narcissistic Traits Worksheet
Identifying Narcissistic Traits Download
Identifying Gaslighting Tactics Worksheet
Identifying Gaslighting Tactics Download
How to Set Healthy Boundaries Around Arguing Worksheet
Setting Healthy Boundaries Download
Personal Strengths Inventory - Dealing With Narcissists
Personal Strengths Inventory Download
Narcissistic Abuse Cycle Download

When to Seek Professional Help

If you have been in any type of relationship with a narcissist, professional help may be beneficial for your healing. A therapist can help you to regain your self-confidence, understand the abuse and manipulation you have experienced, and recognize the patterns that lead you to the narcissist in the first place. Choosing a therapist using an online therapist directory is a great way to get started.

“I would say it’s very uncommon for someone with narcissistic traits to seek therapy for narcissism itself,” says Dr. Barry. “The main recommendation for treatment would be to help the person work through the relationship conflicts/difficulties (that may stem from narcissistic behaviors).’”

Dr Chris Barry headshotDr. Chris Barry

Please note–couples counseling is generally advised against when one of the partners struggles with narcissistic personality disorder. Since this disorder often includes abuse and manipulation, what is covered during a session will likely be used against the victim later on.

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Therapy can help you leave and recover from a narcissistic relationship. BetterHelp has over 30,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $65 per week and is FSA/HSA eligible by most providers. Take a free online assessment and get matched with the right therapist for you.

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In My Experience

Headshot of Maggie Holland, MA, MHP, LMHC Maggie Holland, MA, MHP, LMHC
“Being in any type of relationship with a narcissistic man can be challenging. There are a variety of ways that narcissism can show up, which can make seeing the signs and understanding this disorder difficult. Remembering that you only have control and influence over yourself can help you to evaluate what is the best path forward for yourself.”

Male Narcissist Infographics

Differences Between Female & Male Narcissists Common Male Narcissistic Traits How to deal with a Narcissitic Man

Sources Update History

ChoosingTherapy.com strives to provide our readers with mental health content that is accurate and actionable. We have high standards for what can be cited within our articles. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism. Learn more by reviewing our full editorial policy.

  • American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.) Arlington VA: American Psychiatric Publishing.

  • Besser, A., & Priel, B. (2010). Grandiose narcissism versus vulnerable narcissism in threatening situations: Emotional reactions to achievement failure and interpersonal rejection. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 29(8), 874–902. https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.2010.29.8.874

  • Fatfouta, R., Zeigler-Hill, V., & Schröder-Abé, M. (2017). I’m merciful, am I not? facets of narcissism and forgiveness revisited. Journal of Research in Personality, 70, 166–173. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2017.07.007

  • George, F. R., & Short, D. (2018). The cognitive neuroscience of narcissism. Journal of Brain, Behavior and Cognitive Sciences, 1, ID-6.

  • Hurlbert, D. F., et al. (1994). Sexual narcissism: A validation study. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 20(1), 24–34. https://doi.org/10.1080/00926239408403414

  • Strutzenberg, C., et al. (2017). Love-bombing: a narcissistic approach to relationship formation. ResearchGate. Retrieved from: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/317663551

  • Strutzenberg, C., et al. (2017). Love-bombing: a narcissistic approach to relationship formation. ResearchGate. Retrieved from: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/317663551

  • Grijalva, E., et al. (2015). Gender differences in narcissism: A meta-analytic review. Psychological Bulletin, 141(2), 261–310. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0038231

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We regularly update the articles on ChoosingTherapy.com to ensure we continue to reflect scientific consensus on the topics we cover, to incorporate new research into our articles, and to better answer our audience’s questions. When our content undergoes a significant revision, we summarize the changes that were made and the date on which they occurred. We also record the authors and medical reviewers who contributed to previous versions of the article. Read more about our editorial policies here.

November 26, 2024
Author: (No Change)
Medical Reviewer: (No Change)
Primary Changes: Added “Differences Between Female & Male Narcissists”, “How Does a Narcissist Treat His Partner?”. Fact checked and edited for improved readability and clarity. New content written by Nicole Arzt, LMFT and reviewed by Benjamin Troy, MD. New narcissism worksheets added.
February 6, 2023
Author:Maggie Holland, MA, MHP, LMHC
Reviewer:Heidi Moawad, MD
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Frequently Asked Questions

How Does a Narcissist Treat His Partner?

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Narcissists generally treat their partners poorly. The relationship is disproportionally centered on their feelings and needs. Conflict often feels chaotic and even impossible to navigate. The partner may generally feel controlled, disrespected, and misunderstood in many contexts. However, these negative experiences may be counteracted by themes of love bombing and intense affection.

Narcissists perpetually maintain a sense of control and power in their relationships. He may rely on gaslighting to make his partner question reality. He might also try to isolate them from the outside world to reinforce dependence. In most cases, partners in long-term relationships end up feeling perpetually trapped.

What Are the Types of Narcissists?

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There are two main types of narcissism: grandiose and vulnerable. But iIn addition to the main types of NPD, there are several  unofficial subtypes of narcissism.

Below are some common types of narcissists:

  • Grandiose: Pretentiousness and feelings of superiority are even more pronounced in grandiose narcissists than in classic narcissists. They are particularly sensitive to failure, and will gravitate even more to individuals that give them admiration.2
  • Vindictive: A vindictive narcissist may respond to rejection or criticism by threatening the other person, retaliating, or seeking revenge in some way.
  • Antagonistic: This is a type of narcissism that focuses on rivalry and competition with others. An antagonistic narcissist is often argumentative, disagreeable/contrary, and doesn’t forgive others.3
  • Malignant: Malignant narcissists exhibit traits of both narcissism and antisocial personality disorder. Symptoms include arrogance, exploitation of others, a tendency to harm others, and a need for power, control, and recognition.4
  • Covert: A covert narcissist may appear timid and self-deprecating due to a fear of being rejected or disliked. They assign heavy weight to any criticism from others. and They tend to verbally attack others or talk behind people’s backs in quiet, often subtle ways
  • Sexual: Sexual narcissists prioritize their own sexual needs and desires over their partners, lack empathy for their sexual partners, expect praise for their sexual prowess, and demand sex on their terms.5
  • Cerebral/intelligent: A cerebral narcissist’s sense of superiority is rooted in their intelligence and expertise. A cerebral narcissist will brag about their accomplishments, undermine others’ intelligence, and condescend or correct others.
  • Somatic: Somatic narcissists obsess over their own appearance and criticize the appearance of others in order to mask their own insecurities.
  • Spiritual: A spiritual narcissist believes their sense of faith makes them superior to others. Spiritual narcissists often use this to manipulate, shame, and control others.
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